Happy New Year, folks! Thanks to the release of "inappropriate" videos produced by and starring Navy Captain Owen Honors, we can ring in the first sex scandal of 2011. As a sexologist, my li'l heart is glad. Or would be, if the salacious material wasn't so darned tepid and boring. Like most half-baked sybarites, the inappropriately named Honors has produced nothing of much real interest. The more fascinating aspects of this teapot tempest are the public comments, which suck us - once again - into the convoluted whirlpools of the American sex-psyche.
But first, the videos. I watched snippets on Huffington Post this morning. In response, I posted this: "This video gives new meaning to the words "government stimulus." Or would - except that it's the most boring drivel ever produced by a cheery, parrot-hugging egomaniac in a uniform. Watching the clips is sheer torment - not only due to the puerile offensiveness of his homophobic and sexist remarks - but also because there's no actual "entertainment" value. I have a sneaking suspicion that he has his own private ways of having fun with these clips - but to inflict them on others in the name of ship morale is a pathetic abuse of his position. One good episode of Southpark would provide more laughs than a year's worth of this man spouting a common obscenity. As for those who argue whether he "should have" or "shouldn't have" produced and shown these videos, the Navy itself has issued a statement which indicates the videos are considered inappropriate, so I've gotta go with that. As it is, as a civilian I'm simply left wondering, just how "little" is "Little XO" anyway? Perhaps there is a direct correlation to the man's supply of common sense."
Really, it's more corn than porn, and not very good corn at that.
Because the sexual material was so dull, I found myself riveted instead by some of the stranger details, such as the sock puppet and gaudy stuffed parrots on his desk, and the fake chicken - or whatever it was - ripped to bits for the cameras as part of his masturbation skit. And that big eyed Cheetah kitten poster on the wall - what's up with that? I had flashbacks of those tacky old Keane velvet paintings - sad eyed street moppets and orphans - and we all know how vulnerable such real children are... I dunno, I found myself wondering about the intricacies of Honors' fantasy life, elements of which he was apparently driven to reveal to all in his series of dreary videos. Honors already looks like prime fodder for the military shrinks.
Captain Honors also made use of sophisticated editing to appear in triplicate in the videos - as himself, the XO; as a ultra-butch, aviator sunglass dude; and as a mild-mannered functionary who flipped the bird everytime he endured a "gay" slur. Again, what's up with that? What is the former XO and current nuclear aircraft carrier captain trying to tell us? Is he top, bottom, switch? Perhaps we'll know more after his oh-so-public reaming on the internet, and whatever military inquiry he'll endure. I guess, in a way, I could pity this man. Except that I think I pity his crew a lot more.
