Waterfalls and rivers, clear lakes and hot tubs, warm tropical seas... young Sophia Loren swimming nude as Cleopatra... wet jeans and soaked wedding gowns... vibrating shower-heads set on “stun”... x-rated mermaid with a latex tail... hair waving in the pool like seaweed or pasted against your forehead in a sudden downpour... a surfer’s kiss... Jacques Cousteau... holy water, fizzy water, tide-pools or tidal waves of lust. Which water is your water? Which water gets you hot?
Water is sensual, refreshing. It pulls stress from us and grants “weightless” freedom of movement. Sounds of water lull us to sleep. Rain washes our cares. Rain makes the earth come alive.
We are deeply connected to water. As babies, our bodies are 75% water. As adults we average 55-60%, drying out as we get older. Sea water and blood are chemically similar. Our present day bodies retain traces of a semi-aquatic stage of evolution, probably traceable to an isolated population of primates stranded on the “islands” of the Danakil Alps during a long period of flooding in Africa. Remnants of this stage are evident in our speech and our upright stance. You can see it in frontal coition, patterns of hair growth, and like most water creatures, we cry salt water tears.
Even our bodies contours are shaped more for water than land - they allow us to glide efficiently underwater. Many tiny babies can instinctively swim before they walk. Unlike other primates (except perhaps the semi-aquatic proboscis monkey), humans are divers. We have a built-in diving reflex which triggers the vagus nerve to slow our heartbeat and reduce consumption of oxygen. On the average, people surpass harbor porpoises and penguins with the ability to dive 79.86 meters (262 feet). With training, freedivers can go much deeper for much longer.
With our evolution so closely tied to life near and in the water, it is no surprise that human-like aquatic creatures populate our legends. As a child, my imagination was filled with seductive watery creatures: mermaids, sea nymphs, undines and sirens. My biggest crush as a kid (besides Bernardo in West Side Story), was James Mason as Captain Nemo - because Nemo had mastered underwater life and had the submarine equivalent of a Victorian bachelor pad with plush velvet upholstery. As an adult, I’m still captivated by legends of the selkie seal women and fierce Hawaiian mo’o (link to Mo’o/dakini column) who drown their lovers after sex.
Water also wends its way through our spiritual traditions: the holy water of baptized Christians; the “alkahest” of alchemists; even the Hawaiian god Kane offers us wai ‘ola, the “water of life.” Entire bodies of water are held sacred (though not by industries which pollute or drain our watery “commons”). And water is our cosmic connection, probably the result of countless comets colliding with this Earth.
Water is fluid yet can take a myriad of other forms. It appears as mist, dewdrops, ice crystals, snowflakes, rain, and waves. It’s the universal solvent, dissolving minerals, wearing away rock. We find water content in semen, amniotic fluid, urine and other waste. We bleed it, cry it, seep it, sweat it, drink it.
With water we thrive. Without it, we die. It’s so deeply integral to us that of course it would have to be erotic!
I am always aware of water. For me, waterscapes are the most seductive. I’m happiest in water, with water, beside it. I revel in immersion. I love the water’s touch.
In fact, I love water.
Aquaphilia (or hydrophilia) is classified as a fetish and encompasses all kinds of erotic responses to water or water-based activities. Some people want to have various kinds of sex in or around water. Some are erotically attracted to a variety of activities that people do in the water - clothed or nude. Some people respond erotically to photographs, movies, or artwork that depict people in watery situations - even if what’s being done is not overtly “sexy.” Some are attracted to water itself or use it in erotic play. When I think of Ester Williams, the champion swimmer turned movie star (circa 1940s), I wonder if some aquaphiles consider her a fetish icon, just like Betty Page?
Two figures associated with aquaphilia are Phil Bolton, a man who apparently coined the term “aquaphile” when he created the online Aquaphiles Journal of underwater erotica in the 1990’s and the elusive “Dr. Corinne Lamberth”, an English therapist who is said to have written a paper on the psychology of aquaphilia in 1998. Aquaphiles Journal apparently published a copy of this paper in early 1999, but I can’t seem to get a sample copy of the journal (though I did try) or find any citations for the original Lamberth publication.
While swimming through the internet, I’ve come across variations of aquaphilia which include artful nudes in water, provocative women in scuba gear, and latex subs submerged in tubs, chained or otherwise bound. I’ve even cruised a few YouTube “underwater sex” offerings - my favorite featured close ups of blurred limbs and an awful lot of coral. There’s a somewhat darker side too - underwater breath play and simulated or fantasy drowning. It makes me wonder about the appeal of freediving, actually.
“Wetlook” is seems to be a popular variation of aquaphilia. Wetlook is a fetish for people in wet clothing. Apparently some men can orgasm without masturbating, just at the sight of a woman or a hunky guy in wet clothes. There are some people who have a specific kink for drenched uniforms or other special clothing like business suits and wedding dresses. On a site called Swimming Fully Clothed, I enjoyed “the wet world” of Aaron Kwok. He does the wet look very well.
An article written by Robert Borstling (http://lynx.phpwebhosting.com/~sgroi/docs/art05.html) separates the wetlook folks into categories: “Staywets” who don’t care how they get wet and want to stay that way for as long as possible; “Getwets” who have specific requirements for the manner in which they get soaked, as the very moment of getting wet can trigger orgasm; “Jumpers” who like abrupt soaking; and “Walkers” who get wet very gradually. There’s even a category of “Winter Swimmers” who like the icy water.
Borstling also mentions the added thrill of ruining clothing and shoes: “especially women have a passion for expensive, precious and elegant dresses like business suits and evening dresses. For some it is very important to soak or even ruin very expensive shoes. They spend a lot of money on that, and they buy more and more clothes to try them out.” I’d like to see an exclusive boutique with an on-site dunk-tank. Whip your outfit off the rack, buy it, put it on, get it wet, and start shopping all over again!
In Borstling’s opinion, “breaking a limit and the appeal of the forbidden seem to be very important.” He mentions wetlook pedophiles who get off on photographing clothed children jumping into water - which to onlookers would seem an innocent past-time, would it not? After all, the children are not naked. Other wetlook folks like to view or photograph completely innocent bystanders who just happen to get wet with their clothes on.
Okay, so those are the people who get off on wearing water, or watching other people wear it. What about those who like to have sex in it? As you might imagine, there is plenty of advice on the internet. I found a number of “water sex” positions here (http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/water-sex-positions). And I liked Amy Ogino’s advice to men considering aquatic penis-vagina sex (http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/424_how-to-have-sex-in-the-water.html). One of the more important pieces of advice: hot water, chlorine, and condoms don’t mix. Condoms begin to deteriorate. Plus, condoms slip off in water. Ogino also recommends silicone lube as water tends to wash away the natural lubrication of the vagina. Some people recommend sticking to foreplay and oral sex in the water and moving to drier circumstances for various forms of penetration. But of course, you can do all kinds of things in a shower that might be less advisable in a tub, pool, lake or ocean.
Humanoid water sex may be as old as the flooded Danakil Alps. Elaine Morgan, author of The Aquatic Ape, says that heterosexual ventro-ventral (belly to belly) copulation takes place only because human women have physiologically adapted to it, evolving a vagina tilted at an angle completely different from any other “anthropoid.” However whales, dolphins, manatees, Shetland Island seals, sea otters, beavers, and the extinct Stellers sea cow also mate ventro-ventral while in the water. Morgan explains, “the great majority of all marine mammal species behave in this way: they copulate face to face, and the females have ventrally directed sexual canals. It is a direct consequence of the... realignment of the spine and the hind limbs in the same straight line.” (I think just about kills the Savannah Theory, don’t you?)
Water-logged romance in movies and art have always provided thrilling fodder for aquaphiles. I hunted up some vintage water footage on YouTube and enjoyed clips of Humphrey Bogart soaping himself in a prison shower, along with George Raft; the famous Bert Lancaster & Deborah Kerr beach kiss scene in “From Here to Eternity”; a very young Sophia Loren swimming nude as Cleopatra. Plus, Loren's scene from "Boy on a Dolphin" had to have been a real treat for Wetlookers.
I can’t leave this topic without referring to Hawai’i. In Hawai’i, rain, mist and sea-spray are actual and/or poetic equivalents to love-making. The older chants and newer songs (composed for hula) are based upon a poetic tradition called kaona, which means a concealed reference, or “words with double meaning that might bring good or bad fortune.” Kaona layers meanings, hiding some, hinting at others, making use of metaphor with great skill. Kaona still shows up in nuances of everyday conversation, as well as in songs, chants, hula and the stories and legends. Kaona is an element in most expressions of love, whether in song or flirtatious conversation.
A famous hula song, “Papalina Lahilahi” (Dainty Cheeks) tells the story of an experienced and desirable lover. As a hula, it is danced with a certain amount of sauciness. The following English translation (by Mana and Price) shows why:
I love you and your dainty cheeks,
Always dampened by the sea spray.
What's the reason for hurrying towards me?
You know you're a flower that's been plucked.
Freely given from head to toe
Why the hurry to possess?
I told you before Of your dainty cheeks
I'll tell you again I love you.
The “dainty cheeks” of the lover are not literally dampened by sea spray. A more personal fluid is indicated, and the listener is left to wonder which cheeks have been dampened. As for the “flower that’s been plucked,” the meaning is clear. The lover has already been possessed (or has given his or her favors freely), but remains desirable.
The water of life, the water of love - in writing this column I’ve been able to express a fundamental element of my own eroticism. Erotically, I’m not into faux-latex scuba or spraying hapless pedestrians with my garden hose (and posting the videos on YouTube!). Nor am I likely to be found surfing Maverick’s in a French maid’s costume. These are all well and good for those who are inclined, but for me water itself has visual beauty and tactile sensuality that I crave. Experiencing water, and sharing it, feels alchemical, sacred and deeply erotic.
